


varsity blues

by wanderlustnostalgia



Series: the life and trials of the zoleskys [3]
Category: Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update (SNL)
Genre: Backstory, Ficlet, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 14:18:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18390116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderlustnostalgia/pseuds/wanderlustnostalgia
Summary: “Why do you have a USC sweatshirt?”





	varsity blues

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to everyone going through the college admissions process right now, I'm with you all the way.
> 
> Title taken from Operation Varsity Blues: my parents' favorite trainwreck.

“You went to Columbia, right?” Seth asks.

It’s a question that most normal people would expect their significant other to answer correctly with 100% confidence, but they’ve never been normal and everyone knows Stefon’s the brains in this relationship.  Besides, Seth’s cute when he doesn’t know anything.

“Yes’m,” Stefon says.  He raises his fist and wiggles it a little, the most enthusiasm he’s mustered for his school since—well, ever.  “Grrr, Lions.”  (He also has no fucking clue what Columbia’s fight song is, but neither does Seth, so it’s okay.)

“Then why do you have a USC sweatshirt?”

Seth holds up said sweatshirt, and Stefon’s heart tugs a little at the sight of it, in its familiar maroon and faded-gold Trojan glory.  “Oh, that,” he says, a little wistful.  He hasn’t seen it in years; he figured it must have gotten lost in the shuffle between Apartment #5 and the Garbage Can By the Radio Shack.  “Yeah, it’s my brother’s.  He got an internship and moved halfway across the country to go party it up with, like, androids and human blow-up dolls, like an asshole.”   _Typical,_ Stefon thinks, but then again David always did have a soft spot for clichés.

“I see.”  Seth regards the sweatshirt, frowning.  “You think he’ll want it back?”

“Nah.”  Stefon waves a hand, dismissive.  “He’s got, like, a hundred of them stacked away in his little flannel closet.  Probably the only thing he wears these days, you know, to give off those sexy jock dad vibes.”

Stefon doesn’t think he’ll want this one back, at least.  He plucks it from Seth’s hands, pecking him on the cheek on his way out.  It’s worn and smells like old books, and there are less stains than he was expecting, considering the sweatshirt’s sordid history of being spilled on, puked on, and overall baptized with all sorts of less-than-savory substances.  David would probably burn it.  Then again, maybe not, given his weird hoarding tendencies toward anything college-related.

 

(“Keep it,” David had said the first time.  They’d fought about LA and their future and there’d been a lot of yelling and David had tossed him the sweatshirt as a peace offering.  Stefon had glared at him, teary-eyed, and David had shrugged.  “I’ll get another one.”

Stefon sniffed.  He wiped a tear with the cuff of David’s sleeve, and then he smiled a little.  “Trojans,” he said, wriggling his eyebrows, and David rolled his eyes and groaned, “Why do I even bother.”

He still liked the NYU one better—that one ended up going to Becca—but this one he felt considerably less guilty about getting dirty.)

 

“Hey, did your brother play water polo by any chance?” Seth calls.

Stefon halts in the doorway.  Mischief tugs at Seth’s lips.  “Don’t you dare bring your political agenda into my family drama, Seth Meyers,” Stefon warns, crumpling the sweatshirt into a ball.

“I’m just _saying_ —”

Seth doesn’t finish, because he spends the next fifteen minutes ducking the sweatshirts Stefon throws at his head and the next twenty after that apologizing profusely for joking about Stefon’s “varsity softball career.”

**Author's Note:**

> Borrowing Chychyd's headcanon that David did two years at NYU before scoring an internship and transferring to USC. Becca and Stefon had a lot of feelings about it.
> 
> Let me know if you need context for Seth's water polo comment; I'm happy to explain :D


End file.
